


same software, different case

by castielwholmes



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-ROK, slight angst I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6098965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielwholmes/pseuds/castielwholmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroh felt seven years old again, staring at the floor with his hands clasped in his lap and wondering if things would ever be the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	same software, different case

**Author's Note:**

> yes the title is a doctor who reference don't look at me  
> This is my first work on this site, so bear with me.

“Kuroh!”

“KUROSUKE!”

The usual clamor that Kuroh had come to expect when the pair returned rang through the small suite. “We got the ingredients you asked for.”

“And rice crackers!”

He heard Shiro chuckle. “Yes, and rice crackers.”

Kuroh was quiet. He’d been quiet a lot recently.

It was strange, calling him Shiro when he was in this new- no, old body, but the man had insisted, saying that Adolf wasn’t the name it was back then. He said it as if it weren’t a big deal. And maybe it wasn’t, Kuroh had to remind himself that Shiro had spent the past years or so in a body that wasn’t his and he must be a lot more comfortable now, but he couldn’t help but feel otherwise. He felt awful for even thinking it, but he missed the old Shiro. The Shiro he’d met under not-so-great circumstances. The Shiro who made him feel at home for the first time since Ichigen-sama’s death. The Shiro he fell in love with.

Deep in his mind he knew that those things hadn’t changed with the switch, but the fact that this wasn’t physically the Shiro who had taken his first real kiss (he didn’t want to count when Yukari had ambushed him years ago for the sole sake of stealing it) was something that made him just the slightest bit uncomfortable.

He treasured their family dynamic as much as he treasured Ichigen-sama’s words, so he tried his best not to let it affect him outwardly. Neko seemed to be taking it a lot easier, as long as he was still her Shiro and she was still his Neko she was perfectly happy.

Kuroh wished it was that simple for him. He missed the old Shiro’s bright eyes and the round face that blushed so easily around him. He missed his playful voice and his small frame that fit so perfectly in his arms. He missed his slender hands and his lilting laugh and he just missed the old Shiro.

And he felt absolutely awful about it. Worst of all he knew Shiro could tell. Since that day their relationship had changed, when Kuroh flinched the first time Shiro leaned in to kiss him after the switch he’d just looked at him with sad but knowing eyes. He hadn’t tried again since, but Kuroh had noticed the other staring at him, the pained expression he wore burned into his mind.

He was sure he looked at Shiro that way, too.

“Kuroh.” Even with a different voice, the way Shiro said his name with an odd mix of teasing and reverence hadn’t changed. He turned to face the other, and the shyness his body expressed seemed foreign on such a noble form. “We should talk.”

Kuroh felt his heart nearly stop. Shiro’s eyes were serious, not cold but not quite warm either. “All right.” He allowed himself to be pulled along to sit on the couch.

“Neko,” Shiro called. “I think we forgot to get something, could you go buy some more…” He looked at Kuroh with a sheepish expression.

“…Onion,” he supplied.

“Yes, onion. Would you mind?”

“Yuck!” Neko came bounding into the room, her nose scrunched in disgust. “Why would we need gross onions?”

Shiro sighed. “If you get those you can get a few things for yourself.” That brightened her up, and with a nod and a cheerful “Nya!” she dashed out the door.

After the door slammed shut it took a moment for either of them to say something. Kuroh felt seven years old again, staring at the floor with his hands clasped in his lap and wondering if things would ever be the same again. Shiro hesitantly put his hand on Kuroh’s knee, smiling gently when Kuroh didn’t flinch but rather turned to look at him.

Kuroh still couldn’t look him in the eye without a rush of sadness, Adolf K. Weissmann’s pale eyes burning into him when he half expected Shiro’s bright gold ones. It could have been worse, he supposed, as the Silver King had stopped physically ageing in his early 20s and now that he had his body back sans immortality his age had not caught up to him. That thought gave him the strength to make eye contact, and he was rewarded with a bright smile that he would recognize as distinctly his Shiro no matter whose face it was on. It was when he saw a familiar happy glint, no, happy isn’t a word strong enough to describe the pure joy on Shiro’s face, that he realized he hadn’t looked him in the eye since the switch happened.

He also noticed that the way Shiro looked at him hadn’t changed at all. The amount of love reflected hadn’t lessened, if anything, it had grown. Kuroh smiled softly for the first time since before they’d last made eye contact, and learned that Shiro blushed just as easily in this body as in the one he’d known.

But the comparisons didn’t make him miss the old Shiro any less.

“Kuroh.” Shiro let go of his knee and reached to take Kuroh’s hand. “I’m not going to say that what you feel isn’t valid or that you’re making too big a deal of this. Nor do I expect you to understand.” His expression turned pained, and his voice reflected it in his next words. “I’m also not expecting our relationship to go back to the way it would before, though there is nothing I would like more if I’m to be honest. I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable, so please, just listen to me, and when it comes time for you to make a decision on any of this, please put your own needs above me.”

Since Shiro first regained his memories of being the Silver King, Kuroh had gradually gotten used to this serious side. But in this body, with a stoic rather than cheerful resting face, it was easier to see when he was fueled by emotions. He looked desperate.

Kuroh nodded. It was all he could do.

This time Shiro was the one looking away. “The way you’ve reacted to this is perfectly normal, if anything about this could be called normal, and I was a fool for thinking otherwise. I must have just figured that since Neko didn’t mind, you wouldn’t either. It was a mistake on my part, and I want to apologize. Neko is like my sister, or my daughter. No one can replace Klaudia, but she’s filled the hole her death left. She was just happy I was back. I was a fool,” he repeated.

Even when Shiro himself was saying the words, Kuroh still felt a bit indignant at anyone insulting his king. “You weren’t-“

Shiro closed his eyes and held his hand up so he could interrupt. “Yes, I was. This is my own body, but it still took some getting used to. You have never known me like this, so it’s only natural how hard you’re taking this.” He looked at Kuroh sadly, than carefully moved his hand to caress Kuroh’s cheek. Kuroh clasped it desperately and leaned into the touch. “But my feelings for you haven’t changed. That is the one thing in the world I’m certain of.” His voice was soft, but the smile he gave Kuroh was even softer. “You’re crying.”

Kuroh felt the tears slip out when he replied “I am not,” burying his face in Shiro’s chest and feeling the other laugh. “If I have caused my king any distress, I am sorry. I should have considered your feelings-”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you not to do!” The outburst was so unexpected that Kuroh jumped back, staring at Shiro with wide eyes. He looked surprised himself, but the emotions etched on his face were pained and eager. "I don't want this to be something you're only doing because I'm your king.  This should be something we both want."

And god, Kuroh wanted this.  He wanted this so badly that every time he avoided Shiro's gaze he felt physical pain.  His actions may have changed, but the wanting never stopped.

He couldn't figure out how to put this in words so that his king could understand.  So he tried to express how he felt by pulling Shiro closer to kiss him for the first time.

Kissing Adolf was different from kissing Shiro.  Everything about Shiro was soft, his lips and his hair and his hands smooth and gentle.  But these new feelings weren't unpleasant, Kuroh noted.  His hands were more calloused, but touched his face tenderly.  His lips were slightly thinner but the hunger with which he kissed him was still evident.  Kuroh felt Shiro's cheeks grow wet with tears and he kissed those, his heart swelling when the other man let out something between a giggle and a hiccup.  He shifted his weight forward and fell on top of Shiro, kissing him until they couldn't tell whose tears were whose and their lips were as red as their eyes.

When Kuroh stopped to look at Shiro, he couldn't see anything of his old face in his expression.  It was purely Adolf, but Kuroh realized it was purely Shiro as well because it was Shiro, the same Shiro he fell in love with the day they met, who'd changed his face like he changed his clothes. In every way it truly mattered, this was his Shiro.

The Silver King hadn't stopped crying, tears welling in the eyes that stared at Kuroh in disbelief.  He reached to cup Kuroh's cheek, marvelling like he was seeing him for the first time.

"Shiro?"  Kuroh wasn't sure what this meant, and his heart picked up its pace even though it had just calmed down.  "Is everything all right?"

"You know, I've been in love before."

This statement caught Kuroh off guard.  "What?

Shiro chuckled. "I've been alive for a long time.  You meet a lot of people, and a lot who stay at your side.  But just because you can live forever doesn't mean they can too."  Kuroh could only watch as Shiro closed his eyes, clearly immersed in memories.  "When you know you're going to lose someone it doesn't make you love them any less.  That's why a part of me still can't believe this..."  He pulled Kuroh down to kiss him before continuing,  "That I met you at this time.  I've been in love before, but not like this.  Never like this, because they weren't you, Kuroh.  This was my own selfish reason, among the others, for Damocles Down.  The thought of leaving you behind hurt too much for me to even consider, so I believed it had no downsides.  I hope none of what I'm saying is scaring you... no, don't cry."  Shiro wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall with a gentle touch, leaving Kuroh slightly frustrated as he hadn't cried this much since he was a child, since before Ichigen-sama.  Shiro's words were too much for him.  He was but a pawn, how could he ever be worthy of meaning so much to the Silver King?  Even if "king" was nothing more than a title now, Kuroh would still put his life on the line without a second thought if Shiro so willed it.

He knew that if he voiced these thoughts Shiro would be upset, so he kept quiet and lowered himself so he was pressed against Shiro, head on his chest so he could hear his heartbeat.  Kuroh could feel him laugh before running his fingers through his hair, his touch gentle and loving.

"Kuroh, I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you, if that's okay."  Even without seeing his face Kuroh could picture the smile he wore, his voice tinged slightly with disbelief.

"Do... do you really want that?"  Kuroh thought it was too good to be true.  He loved Shiro, loved him so much he sometimes felt he would burst from the way he made his heart swell, so could Shiro possibly mean the same thing when he said he loved him?

"I can say without hesitation that this is what I want most in the world."

When Neko returned, prattling about the huge fish she'd found on sale, she noticed that her words fell on deaf ears.  Not that it was a problem, she thought with a yawn before turning into a cat and curling up with the sleeping pair on the couch.  Her family was finally right again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> (09/26/17) it's been over a year and a half and nobody has pointed out that no, neko doesn't have the ability to turn into a cat anymore, and honestly i only just realized that today so i'm glad we're all on the same page here


End file.
